Is ‘gentle parenting’ really the better way?

[Craig Nigrelli]

THE CONCEPT OF “GENTLE PARENTING” HAS BECOME MORE AND MORE POPULAR IN RECENT YEARS.

IT’S THE CONCEPT OF MOVING AWAY FROM THE MORE TRADITIONAL DISCIPLINE-ORIENTED STYLE KNOWN AS “AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING.”

BUT WHAT EXACTLY **IS** GENTLE PARENTING AND MORE IMPORTANTLY – DOES IT WORK?

THAT’S WHAT A PAIR OF RESEARCHERS DECIDED TO FIND OUT… AND NOW THEY’RE SHARING THEIR FINDINGS WITH THE WORLD.

TO START – THEY IDENTIFIED **WHAT** GENTLE PARENTING IS.

THEY FOUND GENTLE PARENTING TENDS TO FOCUS ON THREE THINGS…

FIRST, PARENT REGULATING THEIR OWN EMOTIONS.

THAT MEANS STAYING CALM AT ALL TIMES EVEN IF YOU’RE SO MAD YOUR EARS COULD BE STEAMING.

THE SECOND BIG FOCUS IS ON HELPING THEIR CHILDREN IDENTIFY AND MANAGE THEIR EMOTIONS…

AND FINALLY – A STRONG EMPHASIS ON PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL AFFECTION.

THIS STUDY IS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND TO SEE IF THE CONCEPT OF GENTLE PARENTING ACTUALLY WORKS.

IT TURNS OUT… GENTLE PARENTING TACTICS MAY ACTUALLY MAKE THINGS HARDER FOR PARENTS IN THE LONG RUN.

THE STUDY’S RESEARCHERS FOUND MORE THAN 40 PERCENT OF SELF-PROCLAIMED GENTLE PARENTS THEY SPOKE TO SAID THEY WERE EXPERIENCING BURNOUT AND SELF DOUBT OVER THE PRESSURE TO MEET THESE PARENTING STANDARDS.

AND WHEN PAIRED WITH THE CONSTANT FLOOD OF ADVICE FROM SOCIAL MEDIA – WHERE MANY PARENTS TURNED AMID THE ISOLATION OF THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC – IT CAN ULTIMATELY DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD.

IN FACT, PARENTS ARE SO STRESSED – THE U-S SURGEON GENERAL JUST RELEASED AN ADVISORY OVER IT IN AUGUST.

ACCORDING TO THE ADVISORY… THERE ARE 63 MILLION PARENTS LIVING WITH CHILDREN UNDER 18 IN THE U-S…

AND ABOUT 1 IN 3 OF THEM REPORTED HIGH LEVELS OF STRESS COMPARED TO 20 PERCENT OF OTHER ADULTS.

WHEN STRESS IS SEVERE OR PROLONGED… EXPERTS SAY IT CAN IMPACT EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE…

INCLUDING PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS – LIKE HEADACHES AND DIGESTIVE ISSUES… MENTAL SYMPTOMS SUCH AS IRRITABILITY AND DIFFICULTY CONCENTRATING… BEHAVIORAL CHANGES, LIKE AVOIDING PEOPLE OR PLACES… SLEEP ISSUES… AND CAN LEAD TO SUBSTANCE USE AND ABUSE – TO NAME A FEW.

NOW, THE QUESTION IS – IF GENTLE PARENTING IS NOT EFFECTIVE… WHAT SHOULD TAKE ITS PLACE?

RECENTLY, THERE’S BEEN A SPIKE IN INTEREST IN WHAT’S CALLED “LIGHTHOUSE PARENTING.”

IT A CONCEPT THAT PROPONENTS SAYS IS THE MIDDLE GROUND BETWEEN BEING OVERPROTECTIVE AND OVERINDULGENT.

THE TERM’S CREATOR SAYS IT’S A METAPHOR TO REMIND PARENTS THEY NEED TO BE THE CONSTANT IN THEIR KIDS’ LIVES TO GUIDE AND PROTECT THEM… WHILE WORDING THINGS LIKE QUOTE “I LOVE YOU, BUT NO.”