Interview with relationship expert Jaime Bronstein on pandemic dating

Jaime Bronstein is a relationship therapist, coach, and host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio. For the past 20 years, Jaime has guided people from around the world as they navigate the peaks and troughs of dating and relationships. She spoke with us about pandemic dating and how it’s changing the dating scene in Waxed and Vaxxed: How to spice up your love life after a pandemic.

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Taylor Knight
Thank you so much for interviewing with us today about dating in the pandemic. So can you tell us do you feel like with everything that’s changed during the pandemic has the dating scene changed as well?

Jaime Bronstein
Oh, my God. 100%. I mean, I remember at the beginning of this whole thing, the statistics for the dating apps went completely up. So many people jumped on the apps, because that’s the only way that people could meet. No, there weren’t the bars, there weren’t the even the parks anymore Starbucks anything. So yeah, people have a lot more people are participating in dating apps. People are, people were taking things slower because they had to they couldn’t meet right away. But then also, there are some people that now after taking things so slow there, they might be rushing into things a little bit. So things are all over the place.

Taylor Knight
So would you say this is a new like age of dating, like nothing similar to what we were doing in the past, but like a different approach now that people are using?

Jaime Bronstein
Yeah, so because people need to slow down, they’re seeing the value and deep connections, before even meeting in person, which is so valuable, instead of just swiping right swiping left, or going on a few dates and finding one little flaw. And just being done with that relationship, people are more invested, because they see that this person is a real person, and they have value in what they bring to the table. And so they’re not people aren’t as willing to just let a relationship go, they’re willing to give it more of a chance now.

Taylor Knight
Another question I have I know, dating apps are like you said the easier way people are using now to find their potential partner, potential fling or a friend, whatever it is, have people been using it more now than they were before? The apps?

Yes, the dating app?

Jaime Bronstein
Yeah. 100%. Like I was saying, I mean, when this whole thing started, all of these apps, the stats, were showing that so many more people were signing up. So yes, so many more people are signing up. All Ages, it’s been it’s 100% has become the norm. I mean, this is it’s like it’s not normal. If, if you’re not on a dating app, and you’re single, it’s just not cool. You got it on the apps.

Taylor Knight
And then I even saw that some people are putting their vaccination status on the apps to kind of like, I guess, bring some comfort to let their potential dates know like, hey, I’m vaccinated, so you don’t have to be as afraid to hang out with me. I guess do you suggest that, that people do that. Or maybe they don’t have to, what’s your suggestion on that?

Jaime Bronstein
Oh, I love it. 100%. Because we are there’s been a lot of fear going on this energy of fear throughout this time and so anything to take away to make someone more comfortable to take away that fear and that worry, is just I highly recommend it. Also, I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but people are there’s like a hashtag going around and it’s waxed and vaxxed.

Taylor Knight
Oh, no, they’ll be doing that.

Jaime Bronstein
Where they’re letting people know, like, I’m ready to start dating. Open for business.

Taylor Knight
Wow, they are definitely putting themselves out there. They’re ready to find their partner. So is that hashtag just on the dating apps? Or is that on all social media platforms?

Jaime Bronstein
I don’t know. And I don’t know if it’s waxed and vaxxed or vaxxed and waxed, but it’s going around? And yeah man, I think it’s on the apps, it’s on social media, it’s all over.

Taylor Knight
If someone decides to go on a date, what are some things they should consider before they actually reach the date? Like, should they ask the person like, you know, can we wear masks the entire time? Should we do an outside day? Or virtual day? What are some things they should consider that they typically never considered before the pandemic?

Jaime Bronstein
Well, I want everybody to just feel comfortable with saying what you need to say and asking those important questions. So you do want to ask, you know, in the past, it was like, Are you dating other people? And people were worried about saying that, but now that’s a very normal question to ask. You want to know who not who have you dated? But can you tell me generally are you like a big data are you one day to the time person. So it’s very important to just feel comfortable and not having the fear of how they’re going to react? Because the truth is that if they respect you, and they’re the right person for you, or the right date for you, then they’re not going to care that you’re asking these questions. So you need to ask maybe, are you are you actively dating a lot? Or are you just kind of casually dating? Have you gotten vaccinated? Obviously, we talked about that, um, and just I think it’s important, like this new added, it’s like, there’s politics and now there’s what are your views on COVID? It’s like, how do you view this whole thing Do you believe in a lot of people still don’t necessarily believe in it. So it’s important to kind of lay the groundwork, get a feel for where they are with this whole thing. And I love the fact I’m a germaphobe and I love that now everybody is a germaphobe. So Even if you didn’t ask the questions, which you should you just know that I feel like everybody’s just being so much more careful.

Taylor Knight
And how about de etiquette? Like, I know you said pretty much they should ask questions before they get to the date. But like, holding the door, can I shake your hand?

Jaime Bronstein
Well, it could help to have a little bit of back and forth beforehand, are we going to wear masks when we’re not meeting? Are we going to like elbow Hi, are we going to hug, kiss on the cheek, whatever it’s going to be. But let’s say you haven’t had a chance to when you’re there. Just once again, I want you to just feel so we’re comfortable with what makes you comfortable and not worry about any type of response from your date. You need to stand strong. In your words, use your words, say what you need to say. And whatever, whatever it is that makes you feel the most comfortable.

Taylor Knight
So when dates typically sometimes get a little lucky at the end of the night? What’s the status on that? Are people still having that late night cap after their date? I know, there’s a study from Institute saying that 44% of people are not having sex.

Jaime Bronstein
Yeah, so when I saw that, what came to me was more married couples, I’m guessing then than dating. But let’s talk about the dating. But nightcap or maybe going back to somebody’s house or even just a kit. It’s so different. Now, I do believe and I know that these things are still happening where human people are sexually getting together. But it’s just a little different. Because there is that thought, there’s a little bit of the worry, and you just you hope for the best. And as a germaphobe. I remember when I was single people used to say how do you even kiss these guys because you’re a germaphobe. And I used to say that it’s all null and void. Like when it comes to guys is a guy that I want to kiss, I don’t even think about it. So and that’s what I believe is happening, that people are just trusting and hoping for the best because people were not gonna stop, stop kissing, people are not gonna stop having sex. So it’s just about being safe, it was about being safe. But now it’s about being extra safe. And to address the married people, or just people already in a relationship, and have been quarantined for all this time, that makes so much sense that the sex has gone down. Because there’s no, there’s no break between the daily sweat pants life and the sexy time. So it makes sense. Like people don’t know how to even like get that started. So I just encourage people to communicate, go on a date, get out of this home environment, if you have kids, get a babysitter, whatever you need to do to reconnect in a different environment. And that will break the seal, and then you’ll be back on track.

Taylor Knight
Alright, well, hopefully someone out there took those tips so they can get back in action. And then another question, do you have any tips for people who do want to go out there and find their jack to their Rose, or just find that connection with somebody out there. But again, while doing it safe, maybe alternate ways to have dates like virtually or just encouraging people how to get out there again so they’re not just you know, living in fear.

Jaime Bronstein
Yeah and I was about to say, don’t let your fear take over. Don’t let your fear stop you from living your life, whether it’s this or anything. So just be safe. Get out there. Now. It’s warm everywhere around the country, do outside dates, at least for the first few maybe until you can trust this person. And also the great news is that people are more people are getting vaccinated now. And just in general, I like to say with dating, just to remember the acronym love, let go of the past, be open to the future, be vulnerable and evolve, do the work that you need to do whatever it is to get to that place where you can show up in life, and dating and love as your authentic self so that you can manifest the right person for you.

Taylor Knight
That was beautiful. Thank you for those beautiful words for that encouraging message to all those singles out there. And also people who are in relationships, who definitely picked up some tips from this. Thank you so much. Is there anything else you want to add to this about? forgetting the pandemic, singles, marriage, anything that comes to your mind that you think people may not know or need to know?

Jaime Bronstein
Sure my favorite thing to talk about and my favorite tip that spans COVID spans relationships, it doesn’t matter what’s going on is your intuition. So just as we talked about a little bit, just trust yourself, go inside and trust yourself. You don’t need to ask your friends. You’re going to ask anybody else what you should do or how you should feel. Just trust your feelings. Trust yourself, and you can never go wrong in life when you do that.